Three signs: 

Spirituality & Health turned down my pitch for an article on the spirituality of Alzheimer's, which if published would have been very good re: memoir; when I started dusting at Al's house on Thursday, the elephant - the one who got me published in an anthology - was, for the first time in nearly two years, facing the opposite direction in the window sill; and the information about the ex-wife which served to fan up the embers of the novel. 

PLUS: 

More magazine Canada stopped publishing last December and Reader's Digest is declaring bankruptcy for the second time in three and a half years; I'd had stories under consideration at both of those magazines.  

So:

Pretty clear my freelance writing career is drying up. Not all my fault but I've never been stellar at selling articles. Not really the "service article" type. So all those signs, particularly the elephant, were making it very clear: Go in a new direction. 

Write the novel. 

But I've been avoiding that because I've been reluctant to allow the "villain" voice to bloom in my mind. Since she's based on the ex-wife, I worried about what it would do to me to have her in my head. I figured there'd have to be a nightly exorcism. 

That, however, was counter-productive to my plans to fulfill the dream of writing books full-time so my to-do list for the weekend included writing the first "Alice" chapter. At ten o'clock last night, I finally did it. I plunked my butt down at the dining room table, opened up the notebook I've been making copious notes in and did what writers do: I put the pen on the paper and let go. The voice flowed right out of me clear and true.  Not the least bit scary, not the least bit clingy. 

Yet another example of how fear keeps us from moving forward, and that wasn't really a big fear, either. 

When I crawled into bed much later than usual but feeling pleased with myself, I said to Dwayne, "Writing this novel is going to be fun." 

After four years of writing and revising a serious non-fiction novel, I deserve some fun.  Let the revenge fun begin!