Who, I ask, drives into the city for a follow-up appointment with his surgeon and returns home with a mounted bear head?
Who, I ask, would do something so bizarre and weird and just so bloody ---- aaargh!
My husband, that's who.
And he wonders why I write about him .....

This is Dwayne, my dearly beloved, with his new best friend, Jack. Oh, yes, he already has a name.
"If you write a column about this, I get to hang him in the living room."
Oh, you think. Holy freakin' seriously, how could I not write a column about this? I had to take moose antlers down from the wall in the bedroom when I first moved in.
Only a country boy would ride along with this beside him in his truck and think it was a perfectly reasonable thing to bring home from the city.