There is no way to nutshell what happened here in July. Because it began in 1978 when Dwayne married a woman who has made his life miserable ever since. You can imagine how full-blown her Narcissistic Personality Disorder has become more than 30 years later. It's been ten years since she left with her latest lover after not ever being faithful to Dwayne and yet she can't move on, can't let him go.
Add two children who are now grown and easily brain-washed by a woman described by a lawyer as "smooth but an ice cube wouldn't melt in her mouth."
Add a new marriage to a younger, prettier and smarter woman plus an article that exposed one of her biggest lies (although it doesn't top the perennial favourite, that Dwayne beat her throughout their marriage). 
Add a renovation to a house plus endless attempts to ruin our happy times (my surprise birthday party, our weekend at the AJAs, the anniversary party).
Add a 30-year-old daughter who wasn't leaving here until she had goaded her father into smacking her.
Add a counter charge of assault when it turns out she struck first plus a days-long Facebook spree that declared her father a liar, bully and woman beater. 
Add one letter from a lawyer to the ex-wife telling her to stay away from Dwayne, his wife and his mother-in-law plus letters to each of his two children.
And it all equals one pissed off woman who is furious that the man she has always manipulated and controlled through his devotion to his children now has the upper hand.
He is no longer that man.
I am the outside observer to all this. For five years, I watched his daughter grow increasingly rude and bitchy, taking more and more from her father but giving only abuse in return. She treats him the way she watched her mother treat him; she's knows no other way of treating men. I have said nothing because I vowed never to make Dwayne choose between his kids and me but it's not been easy. Even his son turned out to be a loser, borrowing money from his grandfather that has yet to be repaid and selling land his grandfather gave him but not telling anyone he did so. After his son stopped talking to him 18 months ago because Dwayne demanded he come clean to his grandfather, Dwayne remained determined he wasn't going to lose his daughter, too.
But as things escalated, what he stood to lose was far greater than two children who caused him nothing but grief and sleepless nights.
So a few weeks ago, after the anniversary party that the ex-wife did not stop or even ruin, I suggested Dwayne get a tattoo to remind him of what is important to him, some symbol of what he has now and where his life is going.

Dwayne spent three hours yesterday afternoon getting one of our osprey tattooed on his arm, where he can see it always. And it is one of our birds; it's the photo from the magazine article that was nominated for an AJA. Dwayne put that nesting pole up early in his first marriage but it wasn't until he and I were married that the osprey came. There is no better symbol to him of the positive direction his life is going now than that bird.
Let me tell you -- it's weird to see such a big tattoo on my husband! It will lighten a bit as the blood drains away and the white pops out more. I love that it has such meaning for us.
"Every time you think of doing something that could jeopardize what we've gained as a couple and the integrity you've shown through this whole ordeal, look at your arm," I told him.
It's hard to change.I compare breaking free of that ex-wife and thirty years of emotional abuse to quitting smoking: it's a very hard habit to break when so many things push your buttons -- and when those things know the buttons to push. I'm very proud of my husband for taking on the challenge of becoming the man he's meant to be. And for spending three hours getting pricked by a needle.